Well, Betsy is really  my angel…I went to church this past weekend, I’ve been feeling the need to go since her friend Christina had a dream about Betsy.  In the dream, Betsy said that she should have gone to church more often and I took that as a message to me…so there you have it.

In any case, I was so upset and tired of myself not doing anything to lose weight and change any habits in order to lose weight, I prayed very hard that Betsy and God will help me to have strength to follow my program and get to the gym.  Well, so far, I’ve been following my program and going to the gym.  So, I hope I keep it up.  I really want to get thinner and more fit.  I want to be healthy and look better.  I don’t want the feeling of not fitting in seats or the embarrassment of not being able to fit in a seat in a movie or an amusement park.  It is so humiliating.  And I really want Betsy to be proud of me…

I am also going to get me first tatoo on Friday.  I’ve wanted to get one for awhile.  Once Betsy was died I knew I had to get one with her name.  So, I’m getting one with her name and two purple daisies on my left wrist.  I’m sort of nervous but don’t really care how much it hurts, if that makes any sense at all.  I guess I hurt so much inside that it just doesn’t matter.   Maybe I’ll post at photo of it…